“My life is meaningless without him. There’s no point in carrying on.” Two short sentences on the agony of love.
One problem is that this is ‘all or nothing thinking. If our loves returned and we’re just stepping onto the path of the first, fine, careless raptures, then everything goes by the board. You smell her perfume/his aftershave in every breath you take, you don’t walk. You float, you smile at total strangers, who look at you in alarm as they clutch their wallets.
Now, all this is fine, because sooner or later you’ll come down to earth. We don’t remain in this state of rapture for the rest of our lives, which is a good thing, wonderful though the feeling may be.
I’m by no means an unfeeling man from a dating website. If I were, I wouldn’t be writing this article. The truth of the matter, though, the cold, hard facts, are that if you have unrequited love, you must either approach the person for whom you have such strong feelings, tell them, and see what happens.
Or decide that this isn’t taking you anywhere, that if anything it’s spoiling your life and risking making you ill. Mix with your friends again, (you’ve probably neglected them, as you’ve neglected most things in these awful, glorious days of romantic agony).
I’m so sorry, but those are your two choices. Confront the person with your feelings, or simply walk away and take up your life again. Try projecting your mind into the future, and then looking back. Soon, you’ll start to ask yourself what all the fuss was about in the first place.
But if this love has you really in thrall, if its toils grip you so tightly that you feel there’s no escape, then all you can do is to share this with someone. Anyone provided they’re sympathetic. You have to break free. The longer you allow this un-returned love to continue, the more likely you are to slip into depression or become so obsessed with the person that you start to follow them, to pass their house or apartment at night, to see if they have any member of the opposite sex with them.
Now, this is beginning to be dangerous. You can become so obsessed, that if you do see a woman coming out of your ‘boyfriend’s house. You could well snap and attack her.
So, as I say, if necessary, talk to someone from LetmeDate.com and tell them about your feelings. They may not have an answer for you, but it’s like the old saying; ‘A problem shared is a problem halved.’ I think you’ll find those ties to have been loosened and you’ll be more ready to carry on with your life.
If you do approach the person you love, for goodness sake take ‘no’ for an answer. If that is the answer.
But in closing, you must do one or the other. I’m afraid there’s no third way.